{The Grammar Police

Alright, I’m the first to admit: I talk so ghetto on this blog, it ain’t (see?) funny. I do it, well, just because.

I have a degree in English. There I said it.

And when I was done earning that thing, I proceeded to wait tables for three years in my “I’m dating a loser drummer in a band and don’t know what I want to do with my life” phase. That was in my twenties. Then I dumped loser boyfriend with crazy hair, went back to school and got my credential, met the Engineer (Mr. KIK), got married, had a baby, had another baby, became Nationally Board Certified in Education (woo woo) and… fast forward to today. This minute. Right now. But waaaay back when, someone who may have been out of their mind, gave ME a degree in English. It kind of surprised me, actually. I hated reading dead white guys’ literature. I’m going to put this out there: I HATED Shakespeare. Tues/Thurs afternoons at 2 pm became my nap time. And also earned me a “C.”

So I should be able to speak and write correctly, right? Yeah, well, not here. Because I spend my days speaking and writing formal English, I need to have an outlet. So I feel it is my civic duty to point out a grammar error when I see it. That doesn’t mean I don’t make them (because I do… a lot), but it seems to me, I have a piece of paper on my wall that should be good for something and I’ve decided, just for today, it will be this.

I looked at my big stack of DCWTF-ever they call themselves-paper and saw a grammar error. Do you see it?

I’m sure you do, but I’ll give you a hint anyway. It’s an article. No, not the kind you read in the newspaper.

I had to teach this to a group of third graders recently, but I will refresh it for you if you would like. Otherwise, feel free to skip to the next paragraph. I’m not offended. When you are referring to a noun (which in this case, it has an adjective in front of it), you can use the article “a” to refer to a specific person, place or thing. Like “A CAT.” However, if the adjective or noun has a vowel

    sound

as the first letter, you use the word “an.”

So I decided to fix it.

I even used the dreaded red pen just because I felt like it.

And since I’ve been defacing my property lately, I thought you would like to see my grammatical fix on my USB plug:

Much better, don’t you think?

Don’t get me started on the “your and you’re” or the “its and it’s” battle. I’ve resigned that people will continue to make that mistake. I’ve also learned that the iPhone and iPad autocorrects those words and sticks the damn apostrophe in. It makes it hard to write HELL when you want to write HELL. It will turn it into he’ll. Every.Single.Time.

I know, I know. I seriously need to get a life.

Actually, I just need to get back to my laundry and making all the stuff I need to make for work in the next couple weeks.

Tomorrow my fifth grade girl-child graduates and moves on to middle school. I’m going to try real hard not to cry, but no guarantees.

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8 Responses to {The Grammar Police

  1. Tasha says:

    So it would be ” you need to find a SVG” right? I desperately want to say “an SVG”. It has the vowel sound… I can’t bring myself to say a SVG. It doesn’t sound right.

  2. Tasha says:

    Is it always determined by the sound? I’m sorry, this is going to drive me crazy. It would be an honor… I am part of a union.. So would it be an SVG? I’ll be pondering this until I hear from the expert ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. djmom70 says:

    I think in the “h” case, you would use “an” because the h is silent. Now it’s bothering me and I’m going to go look it up.

    edited…. I am AN idiot.

  4. djmom70 says:

    On the other hand, SVG is an abbreviation…. damn…

  5. Tasha says:

    Just say it..I’m looking for a SVG..doesn’t it feel wrong? I know it was a slip but I have to say S is a consonant ๐Ÿ˜‰ Or I’m in trouble..Maybe you can tutor me??

  6. katha says:

    betchA its: AN ‘SVG’.
    betch alot. even though the rest of this grammar is blown to hell (this ‘Some Come Loud’-degree-in-English also likes to take brakes) !

  7. Kwilt says:

    Aahhhhhhh! “An” English degree!!!
    I must be torturing you with my run on sentences! dot-dot-dot-hahhahaa
    I find myself going crazy with those things. And when I don’t use them to death, I find myself shouting all the time with the exclamation marks!!! I’m not really this wild…well maybe sometimes!!! รœ hehehe

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